Your school, library, bookstore, conference could have author Brad Tassell come speak for very little money and lots of laughs and learning.  A note about groups.  I prefer to do more presentations and smaller groups.  I will walk into a huge gym and talk to 800 middle school students, but the result is a great deal less productive then splitting them into four or five groups in a library or smaller venue to have a connection with the subject. Books are available at a discounted rate for schools, libraries and educators. Click here.

What the counselors from Felix Fiesta Middle said during an interview about the merits of the presentation.

 
A Demo video of Brad's Don't Feed the Bully presentation.

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We have lots of fun during the presentation.  The students and staff don't realize sometimes that they are already learning about bullying.  

Presentations are broken down by grade level(s) to address bullying / and character education issues. A full day visit is comprised of no more than four student assemblies, each 45-60 minutes in length. A kindergarten session does not exceed 25 minutes in length. Please allow time for changing the audience. Also, please have groups arrive and depart on schedule. The school library / media resource center is a good location for smaller groups; the gym or cafeteria may be more suitable for larger groups. The author will 2 chairs, diet mountain dew in bottles, a dry erase board, a small table,   , and a microphone to address large audiences, and a ¼ plug for the electric Ukulele.

A typical student presentation includes:

• Lot’s of laughs and magic and song
• Introduction of Don’t Feed the Bully concepts
• In depth thought and discussion on the steps to help stop bullying.
• Engaging stories to help build empathy and understanding of principles
• Questions and discussion

• Conference Keynotes / Workshops
• Staff Workshops
• Parent Presentations

Presentations to parents, educators, or counseling professionals are typically 1.5- 2 hours long and can be shortened or lengthened upon request. A microphone to address large audiences, and a ¼ inch plug for the electric Ukulele.

• Laughs, song, magic, and in depth discussion of how bulling and defensiveness must, “Stop with YOU!”
• the nature of boys' & girls' friendships
• Engaging and humorous stories to build understanding and empathy
• Relating tips to take and implement with their groups
• recommended tools & resources to use in the classroom or at home – depending on the audience
•  

Detailed Presentation concepts

Summary:

1. Objectives/Purposes

 How do you equip youngsters, especially those in the years between fourth to ninth grades, to handle the enormous pressure put on them by bullies?  We remember being bullied and we remember being the bullies.  For some reason we look back and feel that was something everyone must go through as a rite of passage.  The problem is kids are scared, and the bullying of youth transcends to adulthood.  Look at the bullies in everyday life we see at adults.  Our kids see us yelling at someone in the fast food line because they left a pickle off our hamburger, and they believe that is how you act.  We teach our kids to have no respect for others because we treat them lower than ourselves.  My first book, Billy Fustertag Learns Comedy, dealt with the issue’s of practice and hard work creating a framework for a life full of success.  It was a picture book for 6-10 year old boys to work on reading and learn that success can come at any age with practice.

My objective is to step up the scale and begin to deal with bullying head on.  What steps are useful in combating the problem of being a bully target, and what results are realistic.  We are not going to stop kids being bullied, but we can give them the tools to stop feeding the bullies, and grow their self esteem to a point where there lives aren’t harmed by being bullied.  Lastly, sometimes the bullies don’t even know they are the bullies.

B.     The Presentation:

     My presentations are geared toward the audience.  Meaning that the specifics will fit groups whether they are middle schoolers or middle agers.  The point is to lay out simple steps and use lots of humor to get easy points to remember so later when there is possibly a threat, or a situation where an adult needs to help another young person the process is an easy one.  The framework uses the book Don't Feed the Bully as a perfect tool to motivate later discussion about situations and solutions.  I've even had some students open up during an assembly to say they were the bullies, and what was good and bad about their behaviors.

     On this web site is a comprehensive study guide for teachers that covers my visit and reading the book as a class.  Which is highly recommended.  Truly everyone who reads this book will come away with a wonderful story experience and a new piece or armor in their battle with the bully.

C.      Framework:

     Relating personal stories, reading exciting excerpts from the book, and asking pointed and appropriate questions.  All built in a structure of laughs and you get a presentation that excited about any group.  (Although, I have found that it's hard to motivate 500 12 to 14 year-olds at 9:00am in a gym without a good sound system.)

     Below is the appendix from the book Don't Feed the Bully.  I use much of this as a framework to illustrate the four main strategies to slowing the bully tide. 

Not Feeding the Bully

            Everybody is bullied in his or her life.  As you get older, the bullies change their tactics, but it is no less stressful.     Maturity and education is a great source of power against bullies.  To lesson any type of bullying situation takes four steps that are easy to remember.

1.                  Stay calm.

2.                  Assess the likelihood of violence.

3.                  Have a thick skin and a sense of humor.

4.                  Collect evidence.

1.  Stay Calm:  When I was cornered in the locker room, I was scared and emotional, but it is important to hold it back.  No matter how much fear I felt, I was not going to show it.  Bullies eat fear and grow bolder from it.  I also was not going to get angry.  Retaliation and threats are only a way to destroy your life a hundred times worse than you were bullied.  Your goal is to take the fun out of the situation for the bully by staying calm and quiet.   

Do not play their game.

            2.  Assess the likelihood of violence:  Most bullying is threats, insults with the intent on degrading you, and physical intimidation.  If I thought I was in danger of getting physically hurt, I would have gotten away as fast as possible and reported the incident to the school, my parents, and the police.

You want to be a bad target for bullies, not a punching bag or store.  If you are assaulted, or worse, things are being stolen from you, these area crimes and must be reported.  The problem is most bullying ends up being their word against yours and teachers and parents have little power to stop what no one has seen.  Even when they know it’s going on the authority around you has little power to act without evidence of trouble, and many times the bully’s parents will be loudest protesters of their little bully being punished for his or her awful behavior.  In the locker room I assessed quickly, the Slytherin boys were not planning a fight, but that does not give much comfort when the menace is still close at hand.

3.  Have a thick skin and a sense of humor:  I have been called worse things than “Goofyneck.”  This on the insult scale lands right above “Poopyhead” on its effect on my self-esteem.  Most bullies stick with targets and keep bullying them because empty words get a huge response.  At my last school, a kid in my class named Ricky Brennan was even smaller than I, and had a face that toddlers would call cute.  The other kids loved to call him “Little Baby Ricky” as in:  (Add baby talk here.)

            “How’s Wittle Baby Wicky today, huh.   Wittle baby Wicky are you gonna cry for us today.  Baby Wicky.” 

            On and on and you get the idea.  Ricky would then cry and scream, “I’m not a baby, I’m not a baby,” and freak out to the delight of every bully, and most bystanders, in the building.  His bully bull’s-eye was so large that a Bully Student Exchange Program was proposed so other school’s toughs could share in the fun.  I asked Ricky one day after he had been sobbing for half of recess, “Ricky, are you a baby?”

            “Not you too!” Ricky said as he geared up for another wail.

            “Wait, Ricky.  Calm down,” I said. “Relax and answer the question.  Are you a baby?”  Ricky sat for a second then said, “No, that’s why it hurts so much.”

            “Ricky, are you a pickle?” I said.

            “A what?”

            “Answer the question.  Are you a pickle?”

            “No,” Ricky said looking at me like I was nuts.

            “So, if they called you a pickle you would run around screaming, I’m not a pickle.  I’m not a pickle.”

            “Of course not,” said Ricky. “That would be stupid.” 

            “What’s the difference?” I told him, “pickle, baby, three horned rhino.  It’s the reaction they want and you give it to them like a performing baboon.”  I actually had Ricky’s full attention. “It’s rule number one in the bully handbook.  Pick something they know you are sensitive about and hammer away.  We all know you have a face that makes the Rugrats look mature.”

            Ricky laughed which sounded more like a hiccup and punched me in the arm, “Jerkneck.”

            “See, now you’ve got a sense of humor,” I said. “Use it to move their target away from you.”

            “Yeah, but that was funny, Handy,” Ricky said, “I’m not quick with the comebacks like you.”

            “You don’t have to be.  Stop being destroyed by every slur.  Silence is a great tool against bullies.  When they start up, just look bored, and after a couple minutes, check your watch and say, “You guys finished? I’ve got class.”

            “But I don’t wear a watch.”

            I thumped Ricky on the head

            “Ouch!”

            “That’s not the point,” I said, “Pretend you have a watch.  Take the fun away from them.  You might even get to the point where they are uncomfortable.”

            “And they’ll stop?” Ricky said a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

            “No,” I said, “but after a while it will be boring for them and they will spend less and less time targeting you and probably end up just throwing an insult your way from time to time.  More importantly you won’t care as much and it will be a lot easier.”

            “Thanks, Handy.  You should be a psychologist.”

            “No, pal, I’m a detective, “I said.  “Jerkneck, now that hurt my feelings.”

4.  Collect evidence:  As my new locker room buddies were throwing lame insults my way, I was looking around and remembering.  Zillions of bully victims tell on their aggressors only to be seemingly ignored by teacher and parent alike.  This is partly because they look like tattletales with nothing to back up the fact that they are pushed around more than the only lawn mower on a sod farm.  Think of yourself as a detective.  Collect evidence of the time, place, what was said, and who was involved. 

Better yet, it is the twenty-first century.  Get a voice recorder.  Some record for hours and have 500 or more mega bytes of space.  Make sure it’s small and keep it running all day if necessary.  You will record everything said by the bullies.  Remember that you are recording yourself!  Watch what you say.  You need to be heard on the same recording not being mean, abusive, or threatening retaliation.  If you are throwing insults back, then you are as guilty as those around you.  After collecting around ten instances of abuse make a CD of one after the other with a written log of times and places.  This is hard evidence to ignore. 

            Your next move is to set up a meeting with parents, teachers, you, and the bully all in the same room.  The more maturely you approach this, the more you will be taken seriously. This tactic is incredibly difficult, but shows you are serious about change.  The bullying may not totally stop, but you will be more respected and perhaps the teachers and staff will supervise a little closer.  Present your evidence, be calm, and let your tormentor tell his side.  Do not become agitated or upset by anything said.  The bully or his parents my try and degrade or verbally attack you or the school.  This all looks better for your case.

            Also, propose solutions that make sense for stopping the bullying.

Here are a couple examples:

1.  The bully and his cohorts do not talk to you and are to stay away from you at all times.  In addition, you will stay away from them.

2.  Ask for more supervision.  Two schools ago the major portions of the bullying went on in the locker room after gym because the gym teacher wouldn’t so much as stick his head in there and the bullies knew they were beyond detection.  There are lazy and careless teachers.  Don’t be hurt by their unwillingness to protect you in the school.  Get four or five students together and make a list of recommendations of places in and around the school where kids are taunted.  Present it along with parents and maybe even go to a school board meeting if no action is taken.  Ask why teachers cannot be more of a presence in those areas.  And be persistent!  It takes lots of time and effort to create positive change, and there will be many people trying to stop you.  You will find some parents and teachers are as big a bullies as your peers. 

One school’s biggest bully was the son of a teacher in the same school. This teacher would scream and yell at anyone who would suggest her little cutie pie, a thirteen year-old the size of Arnold Schwartznegger, could ever bully anyone.

3.  Get other students involved.  If you can make a pact with four or five others to step up and stand with the kids being bullied, it sends a message that bullying is not cool.  When a group of bullies starts picking on someone, everyone else seems to abandon them because they don’t want to abuse to be attracted to them.  How do you feel when abandoned by them?  You don’t have to be friends to help each other.  You don’t even have to like each other, but you do have to stand together.  Coming to the aid of those being bullied can make situations easier to handle for the bullied and less fun for those taunting. 

Make an anti-bullying pact so if one person is being picked on by a person or group then five or more kids get up and stand with the bullied.  The anti-bullying group does not retaliate, return insults, act violently, or become verbally abusive.  Just stand together, be calm, non-combative, and supportive.  It is a whole lot easier to have a thick skin and hold down fear when you have sympathetic company.

D.     Educational Importance of the Study

 A forum on bullying is of ultimate importance.  To stem that tide we must temper ourselves and teach our youth that bullying is not cool.  Until then it will haunt every generation.  I believe it can be slowed to the point where bullying is a nuisance that even the smallest and most fragile student combats his taunting with a thicker skin and a resolve that makes the bullies uncomfortable.  Their only choice move on and be better.  Take away the power of bullying and you take away the problem.

Questions for further research:

• How do we identify the bullies?
• Are we bullies, and how can we stop ourselves?
• How do we give students the tools to help themselves?
• How do we make bullying uncool?
• How do we get our schools to care more about the problem when often they are as big a bullies as the students?
• How can teasing be okay?

These are not easy solutions, but doing nothing and taking abuse with no action will eat away at your self-esteem like termites on a Lincoln Log house.  There will always be bullies.  It takes action and work on your part to strengthen your character and effect change.  We have all been the targets of a bully.  Our goal should be not just to sympathize with those now being bullied, but also to stand with them, and not become bullies ourselves.

Hannibal Greatneck III, Detective.