Keep an eye out for this new page.  We will be getting kids to join a group to say they will stand with those being bullied.  If you have ideas on what you think should be involved let me know.  I hope to get this up soon.  I am talking to some schools about it now.

The first rule of standing up like a man/woman against bullying is to promise to stand with any one you see being harrassed, or bullied.  But standing with someone means only that!  You stand right next to them and just be with them to show support for them while they are being bullied.  You also promise not to verbally or physically attack and if anyone starts to become violent you promise to help get the person who is being attacked away from the situation and promise to get help from an authority figure.

You do not need to be friends with the person being bullied.  Before or after.  I am hoping to get five or ten kids to stand with anyone being harrassed, and using their sense of humor and self-esteem to help difuse the situations.  Hopefully, we can make the bullies look foolish for their actions.

In your school getting a Stand like a man/woman group is easy.  Doing it will be very hard.  Find a teacher that will sponsor you.  Write down what you will be doing.  Make sure the school staff knows what you will be doing.  Don't spend time talking about it, but when someone is being pushed around or bullied just go stand with them, and gather others to do the same.  This is not easy, you will be taking on the teasing, bullying, and threats.  You will also make it much easier for someone who is being bullied.  

Do not attack them back verbally.  If you want to respond say things like?

"That's funny, what else do you have?"

"Are you finished?"

"I am standing with him or her?"

"I am not going to fight?  I am with him or her."

Remember any violence and you get help immediately! 

Remember names and times, and record what the bullier's said.

There is a longer list of comebacks and tips for dealing with bullies if you click here!

ONE MORE IDEA:

        Can you suggest a safety patrol at your school.  A group of ten or more students get a teacher sponsor and created a club whose job it is to patrol the halls, bathroom, etc between classes or whenever students are there and teachers cannot be.  They work in teams of two.  If there is bullying going on the team asks that it stop.  If it does not stop then one team member goes for help while the other stands with the person being bullied.  The team reports everything that has happened, and it is worked out with the administration and teachers what steps are taken when a student is reported for bullying.  The safety patrol never, returns insults, fights, yells, or leaves someone who is being bullied alone.  It is also best if the patrol has whistles for getting help then the patrol member going for help can travel as little distance away from the altercation as possible to alert help.  Create guidelines for what consitutes bullying before the patrol will step in.

Keep looking here for more!

llessat@aol.com

Parenting Tips: Empowering The Bystander

Bullying is defined as a repeated behavior intended to harm or hurt someone physically, emotionally, or socially and typically involves an imbalance or a perceived imbalance of power. (Bullying in the Girl’s World, by Diane Senn, ED.S. NBCT, 2007). 

In any bullying situation there are typically three people involved: the bully, the victim, and the bystander. 

As parents, you can help by talking to your child about what to do if you are a bystander. What bystanders do and say may prevent someone from being treated unfairly.

WHAT TO DO:

 If your child is the bystander of someone spreading a rumor, they can help by not repeating it.

If your child is part of a group that is intentionally leaving someone out, you can help by encouraging your child to ask the group to include him/her.

 If your child sees someone being physically bullied, you can help your child by having him/ her report that behavior to the school.

 If your child is a witness to someone being called names or being made fun of, you can help by having your child tell the victim that they do not think that way about them.

 If you need further information on any of the ways to help your son or daughter in regard to bullying, you may contact the guidance office at your convenience.

Does your school need a program that teaches students to take control of the violence in their school and make it cool to stop bullying?  Here is the program I have been advocating since day one:  (And I didn't even know it.) Click on the picture.